Manifestos

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Patrick Meng: The Creative Harbinger. The Corrective Force.

www.patrickmeng.com | www.unlicensedlabcoat.com

Summary

Right. Let's cut the corporate platitudes. You see, my "unique perspective" as a Creative

Harbinger and Sociomedical Engineer isn't about feel-good brainstorming. It’s about recognizing

that the "soft sciences" have systematically gooped the sublime logic of engineering.

Corporate governance? A tragicomedy. And let's be frank: the Industrial Revolution and its

consequences have been a disaster for the human race, primarily because it paved the way for

this level of linguistic sludge and process-paralysis, all while those who actually build things

were sidelined.

When I "think," it’s not some laborious crawl. It's an instantaneous, holistic synthesis; for a

millisecond, I rush through an entire library of lived experience, every data point, every fleeting

observation, and bam – the output. I have no idea how you normal humans think because to

me, you are all summer insects and well frogs. Science hard. Consciousness hard. Softly

explain how your brain works and if its not like this its so, so over, your creative cooking license

has been removed and you have been demoted to [insufficient funds paid for me to dedicate

even another millisecond to contemplating your existence].

As your new Chaotic Pro Se Deus Ex Machina and Hunter of Vantablack Swan Corpo

Capitulation, my role here isn't just "creative." It's corrective. I am the engineer in the art gallery,

finally allowed to point out the structural flaws in your pretty, unstable sculptures of thought. The

delusion of endless "process" over actual, blinding insight ends now.

Want to see it in action? Respond in the comments with a prompt. If I select yours, I'll send a

$20 payment link. Prepare for a demonstration that will fundamentally recalibrate your

understanding of "writing." If your mind isn't shattered by the sheer efficiency and impact,

demand your money back. I retain ALL copyrights, naturally. These are monuments to a

superior cognitive architecture.

Need this power infused directly into your projects? My ghostwriting rate is $10,000 an hour.

Because I am, without hyperbole, the best. You're not buying words; you're buying a cognitive

leap. I accept all major credit cards. No fees for you. Get your points, your miles. Consider it the

trivial cost of witnessing the future of ideation. Welcome to the new standard.

Experience

Chief Creative Officer, Unlicensed Labcoat – Remote / Global Operations May 19, 2025 –

Present

● Spearheading a corrective overhaul of creative landscapes by applying superior cognitive

architecture.

● Delivering instantaneous, holistic synthesis to shatter outdated paradigms and recalibrate

understanding of ideation.

● Infusing projects with cognitive leaps at a rate of $10,000/hour; actively demonstrating

unparalleled writing efficiency and impact.

Pre-Analytics Processing Technician II, Cleveland Clinic Main Campus – Cleveland OH

January 27, 2025 – March 5, 2025

Senior Research Assistant, Vanderbilt University Psychology Department – Nashville, TN July

2021 – January 2024

Student Worker, Vanderbilt University Medical Center Neurology Department – Nashville, TN

August 2019 – May 2020

Publications & Projects & Certifications

A Ubiquitous Spectrolaminar Motif of Local Field Potential Power across the Primate

Cortex (Methods Contribution) Mendoza-Halliday, Diego, [Patrick D. Meng] et al. “A Ubiquitous

Spectrolaminar Motif of Local Field Potential Power across the Primate Cortex.” Nature

Neuroscience, 18 Jan. 2024, https://doi:10.1038/s41593-023-01554-7.

AWS Certified Cloud Practitioner Verify at: https://aws.amazon.com/verification Verification

Code: c0dd1f0412074a90a4c18c8254945741

Skills

● Utter Domination

● Imposed Innovation

● Existential Root Cause Annihilation

● Unilateral Scientific Proclamation

● Problem Obliteration

Education

Vanderbilt University – BE in Biomedical Engineering, Minor in Scientific Computing May 2021

Patrick Meng: The Creative Harbinger. The Corrective Force.